All I Want for Christmas...

...is a new, enjoyable, Christmas song to add to my Christmas playlist. Am I right in thinking that there hasn't been a new Christmas song in the "popular" cannon since Mariah's "All I Want for Christmas is You"? That isn't to say that there haven't been a few crackers (Christmas pun!) in the meantime - The Hives & Cyndi Lauper spring to mind - but that isn't something that my parents would play whilst I'm stuffing my face with overcooked turkey and grey sprouts.

Across the Christmas-celebrating world there are few signs of festive cheer a-troubling the charts, with Bruno Mars, Duck Sauce and Black Eyed Peas still dominating most of the key markets. There are a few Christmas themed tracks popping up here and there though. Maria Mena's Home for Christmas - which I wrote about here a few weeks back - is sitting at number two in Norway. It's dull, but it trumps "xxxmas", a novelty effort by New Zealand breakfast present Jay-Jay Feeney:



"Everytime she jingles, my ding-dong tingles" - awful. But even this trumps the novelty effort by Feeney's breakfast co-present, Dom Harvey. "Christmas Rapping" is at number 6:



What is it with novelty songs that forget to be funny?

Speaking of which, Sweden has weighed in with this:



Sean Banan is a Swedish singer and comedian, who has released both comedy and "sincere" records over a number of years. I genuinely don't know where Gott Nytt Jul, currently number two in Sweden, fits in. If there are any Swedish speakers out there, please feel free to let me know...

Also worth a mention is the current number one in Finland - a Christmas song by a power metal band for children (really!). It is Hirmuliskojen Pikkujoululevy by Hevisaurus, and it's amazing.



Sadly that is the paltry extent of the Christmas-themed hits across the globe this year. It seems we're all so happy with Slade and Sinatra that we really don't care about dragging our yuletide listening into this century. Oh well. At least somebody is brave enough to cover Abba:



Well that was disappointing. Astonishingly, that is number two in Spain, and its singer Amaia Montero has sold over 7 million records as solo artist and singer in the band La Oreja de Van Gogh. Crikey.

I'm off to listen to Darlene Love, Hello Saferide and The Waitresses.

Merry Christmas all.

Adrenaline

This is pretty impressive. Luan Santana is a 19 year old Brazilian superstar who has played to crowds as big as 85,000. His voice is incredibly solid, and he has the ability to provoke drooling, screaming adulation from his largely female audience - as you can tell from this live performance of his current number 1 hit, Adrenalina, which has itself attracted over 2million Youtube hits.



The sound itself is perhaps not especially dynamic, but it will be interesting to see if he will eventually straddle the English and Latin language markets like Ricky Martin and Enrique before him.

Redressing the balance

I've posted two songs today that are literally and metaphorically linked to shit. I feel I need to redress the balance somewhat, so here are two tracks that have done very well in Belgium and remain in the top 10 of the Wallonia chart.

First up, French DJ Martin Solveig featuring excellent Canadian synthpop band Dragonette. Dragonette have been around for a while now and are frequently championed by the likes of Popjustice. Unfortunately that hype has never really translated into sales, with both their albums failing to hit the top 40 in their home country or the UK. Good to see then that this track, Happy, has been a hit in France and Belgium, and currently sits at number 5 on the Wallonia chart.



For more Dragonette, by the way, you could do a lot worse (today's earlier posts, for example) than listen to this on repeat all afternoon: Take it Like a Man

Next up is Californian Egbert Nathaniel Dawkins III - more frequently known as the slightly more catchy Aloe Blacc - whose blend of soul, blues, jazz and hip-hop is just about the classiest thing on any chart anywhere in the world right now. I Need a Dollar is currently at number 9 on the Wallonia chart, and hit number 1 on the Flanders chart a while back:



If you like, get more info here, and be sure to check out his recently released second album, Good Things.

Sticking with the shit theme

Readers in Germany may recognise the talent behind the video below, since loveable mole Rene la Taupe's had a delightfully named minor chart hit there last (Merde).

Sick of his bad boy of rock 'n' mole tag, Rene has dropped the obscenities for his latest single Mignon, Mignon ("mignon" meaning "cute" in French), and has been justly rewarded by the music loving French public, whose appreciation of a good hook has given Rene his first number one. Behold:



As you may have guessed Rene is a creation for ringtone company Jamster, who also brought us Crazy Frog. I would hope that the language barrier would stop this from entering the UK charts, but the success earlier this year of novelty-but-not-quite-as-bad-as-Rene-act Yolanda Be Cool suggests that the British are open to a foreign language track so long as it is awful. This certainly fits that bill.

Words Fail Me

I've spent the last hour or so trying to come up with an amusing headline for this post. I've finally resigned myself to failure, since I don't think anybody on the planet could come up with a headline that could do this band nor their name justice. Ladies and gentleman, I give you: The Trackshittaz.



Oida Taunz (which I cannot seem to find a translation for - perhaps it is German toilet themed slang), the 'shittaz debut single is, astonishingly, a huge number one hit in Austria (though this week sits at number 3). In genuinely exciting news, there is an actual, genuine prospect that this may be selected as Austria's Eurovision 2011 entry. Oh. Dear. God. Please.

When Time Goes Backwards

Let's go all Nordic, shall we?

Når Tiden går baglæns

or When Time Goes Backwards for you non-Danish speakers, is a slice of Europop goodness from established Danish DJ Rune RK and relatively unknown songbird Clara Sofie. Complete with echo and wooshes, it is enough to work up a hot sweat on this coldest of November days. The track is number one in Denmark and is available to buy in the UK (and US) via the wonders of the interweb.

Home for Christmas

Wait, it is still November, right? Somebody should tell the Norweigans, for the new entry atop their singles chart is a Christmas song. I wouldn't mind if it was a bundle of festive joy (like the greatest Christmas song OF ALL TIME), but instead it's an insipid, schmaltzly ballad that sounds like the soundtrack to a snow-filled scene from Ally Macbeal. Urgh. It is available for download, but I hate Christmas so I won't give you a link. Sorry, Maria Mena.

Seili

Maria could have done with some of the production on this track. Admittedly it doesn't get off the best start, but it comes to life at 35 seconds and is quite lovely. Jenni Vartiainen won the Finnish version of Popstarz in 2002 with the group Gimmel, and has since gone on to have a lot of solo success in Finland, including this week's number one. If it takes your fancy, you can get it here.

Indestructible

Spare a thought for Sweden this week, for the worst song of all time is number one on the DigiListan. Seriously, it is so bad. Shit. So let's have some Robyn instead, who is at number 4 with the amazing Indestructible.

Only Girl (In the World)

And so to Iceland, where Rihanna tops the chart and no Icelandic act features in the top 10. At number 10 though is this monstrous "summer jam" by Swedish-Congolese Mohombi. Altogether now , "I wanna boom-bang-bang wit your body-oh"...